My observation is that father groups, including national organizations, are fragmented.
Each is doing its best to be pro-active, but on a political scale, sadly ineffective. That is due to the lack of an efficient and centralized point of intercommunication.
Collaboration and coordination are the keys. The active leaders all must get on the same page, and find common grounds among their agendas.
Do we have the technological means to do so?
Yes. Just look at how this prototypical club functions.
I would like to suggest that members who urge political action against the injustices in the family court system do the following:
- instead of ranting, tell us which members they have personally invited to the club;
- instead of whining about the outcome of one’s own specific case, formulate or reference a general critique which addresses the underlying problem;
- tell us what else you are doing pro-actively, and urge the rest of us to do the same.
Once the membership reaches 1000 here, we will create another club just for the heads of various organizations. Already there are several prominent heads in our club. Let’s recruit some more!
It’s work, fellow dads… and we have to be committed through our actions.
I would join in a hearts beat (and I don’t have many of those left). The real ironic thing is that at one time in this great nation of ours.
The father had custody of the children regardless. The feminist movement came in and screwed that up. We men allowed ourselves this to happen. The courts capitalized on a way to neutralize the family and we all have stereotypical ideas of what a women should do and what a man should do. If the children are old enough they can actually sue both parents. They can do it now and they can do it when they are older. People say that we have made divorce to easy. Quite frankly we have made getting married and having babies too easy.
Get rid of ‘custody’ issues and raising kids by the kids stay with one parent six months (too bad what kind of living arrangements they are in). The second six months with the other parent. No money given to the courts, no money given to children and no money given to anyone. If you have a child you are responsible and you must do your best for the child and you must to do for yourself.
The fragmentation of the fathers’ groups is a major problem, but so is greedy. When I stepped into the National Congress for Fathers & Children in 1991, there was not much to them. They only brought in $6000 in donations. By 1996 I had them up to over $300,000, but they became a target of greed.
Now they are back to where they were in 91, and I have been asked to come back in and fix the problems, which I am doing. It may sound shallow, but my plan in 96 was to overwhelm all the other fathers group, and finally bring them under one banner. Just as NOW did in the early 60’s with all the different women’s groups. Simply put, we would show that had the contacts, the resources, and the materials to help fathers.
We had a full time office with our own printing facilities, but I made the mistake of trusting people to be honest. It was a major mistake. Had I not made it, NCFC would now be larger then NOW. And it may be again one day, with some hard work, and a little luck. The main thing is that the manual gets distributed. It has everything needed by divorced and single fathers. It is unfortunate that I can’t just release it for free, but the legal nature of the material leaves everyone connected with its creation open to lawsuits by the Bar Association if I did. They have already tried twice to stop it’s distribution. Though it has been five years since they last tried. Nothing changed. The only improvement is that there are fast no teletrack loans accessible from companies like www.withnoteletrack.com – a great help in times of financial need.
NCFC can, and will be the main group in the country if I have anything to do with it. But, it will not be so that someone can get rich off of it, or put themselves on a pedistal, but because we can provide what fathers need.